Making the most of life in your twenties

Ok so… I’m only 23…

And that means I’m a bit premature in thinking of what I should or shouldn’t know in my twenties, but I couldn’t help myself.

I recently read this article on the Thought Catalog written by Becca Martin and instantly wanted to share it.  Our generation of millennials are worth so much more than the crowd-pleasing tendencies that we are succumbing to.

My favourite excerpt from this article is “dreams can be thought of in the comfort zone, but it’s the same place they die. It’s important to push yourself to a new level that make you uncomfortable to see how much you can handle and see yourself grow from the challenge.”

One quick thing – I’ve been absolutely absent (it’s been a year since I last posted!) and I sincerely apologize. It’s been the busiest time ohhhhh my days!

I promise I’ll try to be better this year.

Anyway.! Read and Enjoy !


20 Ways You Are Ruining Your Life In Your 20s

1. By not taking chances. You are in the prime of your life. You’re finally old enough to do everything you’ve always waited for, but still young enough to not have the full commitment of being an adult (kids, mortgage, marriage, etc.) – unless you choose to. It’s the time in your life where you should take chances and risks to become the person you want to be.

2. By not doing anything to help your future. Sure, it’s fun to blow all your money. It’s fun to travel around and keep your bartending job. But do you want to bartend your whole life? If you don’t you should really consider looking into a career in the profession you want to be in. It’s hard to find a job at a place where you don’t need 3 years minimum experience. Your future self will kick you if you just start looking at 30 and have no pervious experience.

3. By surrounding yourself with the same people. Your friends from high school are great, but it’s also great to branch out, to surround yourself with people who are different from you. Don’t isolate yourself by always hanging out with the same people, you also never know where those connections could lead.

4. By never leaving your comfort zone. Just like surrounding yourself with the same people your whole life, leaving your comfort zone is vastly important to your individual growth as a person. Dreams can be thought of in the comfort zone, but it’s the same place they die. It’s important to push yourself to a new level that make you uncomfortable to see how much you can handle and see yourself grow from the challenge.

5. By deciding your worth based on social media. You. Are. So. Much. More. Than. Likes. Seriously. Likes are dumb, getting double or triple digits on your posts do not determine your worth. Neither does your number of followers. No one is checking anyway, tbh. You are worth more.

6. By feeling the need to justify your choices. If you want to quit your 9-5 because it’s making you miserable, you don’t need to justify that. If you want to stay in when all your friends are going out, you don’t need to justify that. You just need to do what makes you the happiest and other people don’t need an explanation as to why.

7. By following the crowd. Peer pressure was one of the biggest influences in my life as a teenager, but in my 20s? Nope. If I don’t want to do something I’m not going to do it. I know what makes me happy and what I feel comfortable with enough to say no. I don’t need to take a bong rip to feel ‘cool’ I can just say “no thanks” and be done with it. No is a complete sentence. Use it.

8. By trying to live up to your parents expectations instead of going after what you want. My parents dream is for me to get a job with benefits and a 401k. Duh. But does that mean those are my dreams? I don’t know. You don’t have to do what your parents want because if I was what my dad wanted I’d be a cop. Not that there’s anything wrong with that profession, but that lifestyle is not for me.

9. By comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to other’s is a killer. I can think I look strong and great in the mirror at the gym until someone else comes next to me who is smaller than me, more fit than me, whatever it is and I instantly feel shitty about myself again. Comparing yourself to others is awful, don’t do it. Not with body image, with relationships, with careers, none of it. Just stop – you are enough the way you are.

10. By looking for outside validation. Looking for outside validation can be damaging, just like comparing yourself to others, but it’s something we do. We can be enough to ourselves until someone comes along and makes a comment, then we are constantly seeking their validation, their approval, their opinion of us instead of just being happy with our own validation. For some reason we always feel it’s better to have approval from others than to just do something based on your own gut instinct.

11. By wasting all your money at shots at the bar. Getting wasted in your 20s is fine, it’s fun, it is what it is. But don’t waste all your money buying everyone rounds of shots on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. It’s great, people will love you, but your future self and your bank account will hate you for it. Instead don’t open a tab, take out X amount of dollars and once that runs out then you’re done. Don’t spend a hundred dollars at the bar every time you go out, you could easily save that money and be in a much better financial place.

12. By refusing to admit when you’re wrong. Being wrong S U C K S. No one likes admitting they’re wrong, but get used to it. You will earn a lot more people’s respect and appreciation if you can just own up when you’re wrong. It will make you a much more enjoyable person to be around because guess what? Everyone is wrong at times because no one is perfect.

13. By staying in a relationship because you’re scared to be alone. Modern dating makes me want to rip my hair out and that’s probably a good reason I’m single. If you are not happy in your relationship – L E A V E. Seriously, leave. Don’t stay with someone who used to be good to you in the beginning and it’s been months or years now since they’ve been that way. That’s not good for you and it’s not a healthy relationship. Being alone isn’t as scary as we make it appear. Staying with someone who no longer makes you a better person is ruining your life.

14. By not questioning your life. Questioning your life and your choices is great because it means you aren’t settling and you’re not okay with just being content. Be secure enough to want to push yourself further and become better.

15. By listening to people tell you that you’re not capable because you’re young. Just because you’re young doesn’t make you incapable. You can amount to so much. You can become a CEO, a millionaire, find the cure to cancer. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t because you’re young.

16. By not reading. Read. Read lots. Educate yourself and fill your brain with outside thoughts. It will help expand your mind outside the world you’re living in and it can be essential to your personal growth because reading a book can change your entire outlook on life.

17. By not traveling. Immerse yourself in other cultures, see how they live. Struggle with language barriers, push yourself out of your comfort zone, try new food, learn a new language. Travel and see that the life you know isn’t the only life out there and experience it first hand to get the full effect.

18. By spreading yourself too thin. Don’t over commit yourself to five things when you’ve only got time for two. As much as you might want to do everything, you can’t and it will ruin you if you try. You need to put your needs first and take care of yourself. After all, you can’t pour out of an empty cup so don’t spread yourself to thin.

19. By letting other people’s fear dictate your choices. Other people love to press their fears on you. Quitting your job is scary to pursue your own business, but if that’s what you want to do then do it! Don’t listen to Sally tell you everything that could go wrong because you already know everything that could go wrong. Just follow your gut and do it. Don’t let her fears dictate your decisions to move forward.

20. By doing things out of obligation. Don’t do things out of obligation. Don’t say yes when you really want to say no. Don’t do it because everyone else is. Do what makes you happy, help when you can and be a good person, but don’t do things out of obligation. You don’t have time to waste doing things that make you miserable.

WHY YOU OUGHT TO LIVE IN LONDON AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE

No one can quite prepare you for living in London. No matter how talented, rich or educated you are – this incredible city will forever change you. I’ve only been here since the beginning of the year and I can already feel the effects of London – and I mean that in the best possible way.

Before commencing your flight to Heathrow, however, there are many flaws to this concrete jungle that you should know about.

Rush hour is an absolutely terrifying dog-eat-dog world akin to that of a scene from the Hunger Games and it always reminds me of the sprawling spectrum of humanity through the cumulation of all our individual journeys.  God forbid you should NEVER stand on the left hand side of an escalator and lastly but most importantly – sell absolutely everything you own before  you move to London because it will suck you dry! One beer sets you back easily about R144 and you must accept the fact that you will never pay less that 7 pounds for a burger.

On the plus side, London is worth every single penny you have and there is truly nothing quite like it. It’s quite hard for me for some reason to elucidate the style that this city encompasses – it’s more of a “come and see for yourself” type scenario.

People in London certainly dress well. Very well! Men are so comfortable to wear Tweed coats and striking scarfs – and confidently walk the streets in the most stylish loafers that I’ve ever seen.  Signet rings are somewhat of a hierarchical fetish here and tend to adorn a large number of British men’s pinkies.

I have also noticed that the streets are full of people wearing the newest Nike Huaraches. When I first saw them in Dubai I remarked in disgust that they look like alien shoes – but I must admit, I have grown to quite like them.

The white Huaraches are on my lust list for sure!

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The streets are busy hum-drums of formal frantic businessmen, the pubs are little havens of overworked and fantastically interesting Brits and the shops are never-ending possibilities to file for bankruptcy.

There’s an electric energy that pulses through the heartbeat of this incredible city that simply makes it impossible for it not to change you!

Here are a few (photographic) reasons to come to London:

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Strand Street – an example of London’s correlation to a Harry Potter film set.

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Regents street – it’s quite overwhelming at first, to be honest! But it’s rather beautiful at night.

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Westminister! Founded in 980, this is by far the most beautiful gothic church I have ever seen.

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My secret weapon to the ins-and-outs of London! If you’re coming to London you need a Brit to show you the ropes. This is my fantastic British friend, Ed.

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A better view of Westminister.

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It’s always adventure time with this baby on my wrist! I absolutely love my DW.

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Pikaboo! Big Ben wants to say hello, too!

If you’d like to see more – follow me on Instagram 🙂

HH

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Things you ought to know

London is a notorious concoction of culture and class – I absolutely love it! Everything about it just takes my breath away – and the fashion is something to truly behold.

I could walk down the tube station absolutely stark naked and no one would think twice, they’d probably just nod at me and then proceed on to their next destination. So while I’ve been walking along cobbled streets and little red telephone booths – armed with my South African accent and a Laminated map torn out of my “Tour guide to London” – I’ve been aggressively ticking off things on my London to-do list. Through my pub-hopping escapades, exhaustative exploring and countless trips on the tube, I can’t help but establish a distinguished style that correlates throughout most Brits. My love of lists has therefore encouraged yet another one:

Things you ought to know before you come to London.

Disclaimer: the following list is highly opinionated and stereotypical. If you don’t agree – that’s totally up to you !

 

  1. Never judge a confident London Lass.

The ones who are willing to flaunt their legs in an H&M miniskirt when the temperature is close to snow-fall and the wind is howling directly into their face. Support them. Back them. They have more confidence than you could probably ever hope for in your wildest dreams! Let them be.

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My friend Paula and I trying to get a good shot of the London Eye – clearly we both failed haha

 

  1. Coats.

To be honest I absolutely couldn’t give a blue moon what I look like when I’m in 1’C weather– just as long as I’m warm. I started out wearing 2 layers of thermals (double top AND double bottom), a down-feather jacket, a woolen scarf and my dad’s 30 year old army jacket – and guess what? I was still shivering cold and grumpy as hell. I’m a wuss in the cold, don’t judge, but nothing can quite prepare you for the horrorful wind-breeze that sweeps through London. It’s a cold that hits you to your bones – and then eventually hits you right in the center of your soul. Therefore – do yourself a favour and get a good coat, one lined with animal fur and hot water bottles and even thermal underwear.

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Buckingham Palace Baby! To be honest I found this to be rather disappointing in real life!

 

  1. British men dress well; appreciate it.

Sitting on the tube is like fashion week in itself and I can’t help but be super impressed with the level of eloquence with which British men dress. Most of them have got the rugged-tailored-gentleman look down to a tee– it’s remarkable. As I sat in the tube last week I couldn’t help but acknowledge that British men just do it well – from the quality shoes they wear to the impeccable coats that complete their outfits, it’s a job well done indeed. Tailored clothing is for British men what cigarettes and coffee are for British women.

 

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Portobello Road, Notting Hill

  1. Guys can wear scarfs, too!

I remember when my mum bought my brother a scarf a few years ago – oh dear lord did she get shut down! My brother flat out refused to wear it. Here, it’s more a necessity than anything and it looks so incredible and work-chic.

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Westminister Station

  1. No more flip flops, thanks!

British men have a serious thing for shoes – that much is clear. The uber British lad is always adorned with his leather loafers and perhaps this is a slight improvement to the guys back in SA who wear flip flops even though they clearly shouldn’t let any ray of sunlight see their gruesome toe-nails. I’ll never forget my favourite English teacher in Grade 12 telling us all how she actually left a guy on a date because his feet were just so disgusting, haha I will ALWAYS remember her telling us the story!

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St Paul’s Cathedral

  1. British women don’t care.

There’s a carefree confidence that British women behold that distinguishes them apart from the rest of the world. Since being in London I’ve acknowledged that there is indeed a sense of judgmentalism that is ever-apparent in South African fashion. British women are stoked to wear whatever the heck they want – and I really like that. They unashamedly exhibit their personalities through their clothing, it’s absolutely refreshing to be in a city that just doesn’t hold back.

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Even the Lampposts in London are feasts for the eyes

In all honesty – I have been horrified at some of the atrocities I’ve seen people wear. But I quite like that, too.  London has taught me to shake off my judgmental attitude and learn to appreciate the eccentrics of fashion that London displays to its inhabitants day in, day out. Come here with an open mind (and a large wallet, might I add!) and London will be sure to show you a good time.

HH

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GHOSTWRITER

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 Airports are fascinating conundrums of activity. As a compulsive people-watcher, it’s interesting to observe the buzzing concoctions of human thoughts and emotions and they always have a habit of making me sentimental for some reason!

I’m sitting here in Dubai Airport with my backpack firmly on my shoulders and my heart somewhat on my sleeve.

There’s something incorrigibly emotional about closing one chapter and beginning another! Leaving Cape Town has left me feeling like an unrelenting, tantrum-throwing two year old. However as I’ve sat here with a Quentin Tarantino lookalike sitting crrrreepily next to me, I’ve acknowledged that it’s unquestionably time to have a new city as the backdrop to the best days of my life. I guess I left Cape Town on the most perfect note and I’m now ready to move on and discover a radical way of living; a London way of living.

I don’t know exactly what this year will bring – but all I know is that I will say yes to anything that will force me to step out of my comfort zone. Because, ultimately, comfort zones are for suckers. Comfort zones are the root of all discomfort. There is value in routine, but rewards are hidden in the triumph over obstacles and obstacles are never hidden between the ordinary concessions of too much comfort. So, the underlying message of this – is that perhaps it’s time for the discomfort of the unknown, and ultimately the rewards of the triumph over such discomfort.

I laude you if that made ANY sense to you haha… 🙂

Anyway, keep up with my blog – this is going to be an exciting year and I have lots planned! I’ve always wanted to live in London – to appreciate the London way of not only living, but dressing too. I’ve admired the eloquence with which British men & women carry themselves and I can’t wait to learn a thing or two. I feel blessed to have this opportunity and I can’t wait to discover a few revelations about the international stages of fashion.

Now it’s time to meet the Queen, swap my bikinis for Beanie’s and kiss my Irish Passport on its toosh.

London, show me what you got baybeeeee!

P.S the title of this post has nothing to do with anything discussed above, I was just listening to that song when writing this and I thought it’d be appropriate because I couldn’t think of a title, haha!

Have a sweeeeet day 🙂 🙂
HH X